I have been afflicted by sciatica for three weeks now, and it is a constant- sometimes sharply painful- reminder that I am not 20 years old anymore. Or even 40.
I have to remember what a powerful manifestor I am, creating my own reality with every thought. For a few months now I have been seeing women in various stages of life and unconsciously judging them on how agile they are. Do they limp? Are they slow? Do they waddle? Do they slouch? All of these things would come to my conscious mind and I would try to put them away, try not to judge. It isn’t nice to judge others. Instead my mind would jump to, “I will not let myself get old like that. I don’t want to look feeble. I don’t want to be in pain.” And of course these thoughts are unconsciously fed by fear– fear of getting old, fear of being unattractive, fear of pain, fear of dying. What a powerful concoction, negative thoughts and fear! It’ll get you every time!
Instead of focusing on what I don’t want, I choose to focus on what I do want. I am a healthy, vibrant, beautiful woman who is just experiencing a temporary opportunity for… something. I am still working on what that something could be. It’s a work in progress.
At 50 years old, I am still a work in progress. I am still manifesting me.